Funny Tweets From Parents this January 2020
We’ve gathered some funny quotes from parents on Twitter.
January’s parent quotes which made us smile from:
Husband: What… what are you doing?
Me: Dancing and singing to Frozen with the kids!
Husband: The kids are upstairs.
Me: I 👏🏼 like 👏🏼 the 👏🏼 soundtrack!
— Momarazzi. (@Mirimade) January 20, 2020
5-year-old: I didn't do it!
Me: Do what?
Thanks for clarifying.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 22, 2020
Can’t find your kids? Don’t worry; sit on the toilet. They’ll find you.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 4, 2020
“I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom,” I whisper to myself as I replace the fridge water filter on a Saturday night.
— The Mom Who Knew Too Much (@Gilapfeffer) January 4, 2020
Having a 2 year old means that whenever he runs up to me and wraps his little arms around my leg, I can never quite be sure if he’s going to give it a big hug or try to bite the hell out of me
— ThreeTimeDaddy (@threetimedaddy) January 7, 2020
Just because I'm a mom doesnt mean I'm not spontaneous anymore. Will I get out of these pajama pants today? Maybe… maybe NOT. You just don't know.
— Divergent Mama (@Divergentmama) January 8, 2020
After bath, 3 asked for a roll, salami and cheese and I started getting impatient cuz it was close to bedtime but I reluctantly gave in and she proceeded to pile it all inside the roll and said, “this sandwich is for you mommy!” and now I’m crying (while eating said sandwich).
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 8, 2020
My 5 year old is a little sad tonight.
He was telling me about his friend that is a cloud (Rainy).
He said he hopes it doesn’t rain tomorrow because that means Rainy and his friends are crying.
And now I’ve got rain on my face.
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) January 8, 2020
Mothers don’t sleep. We just worry with our eyes closed.
— Moms-night-out (@MommyWorld3) January 11, 2020
Someone once told me that your kids will never remember the times when your house was clean.
So, yes, I napped with 2.5 today instead organizing his toys like I had planned.
I need all the snuggles with him I can get before baby #2 comes.
— TeacherMom (@TweatingForTwo) January 12, 2020
Me: *on a very important phone call*
Daughter: MOM GUESS WHAT
Me: Hold on baby
Her: MOM! MOM! MOM!
Me: Jocelyn please
Her: MOM ITS AN EMERGENCY
Me: What babe?
Her: Velociraptors are very good climbers.
— Krysta (@kaL12578) January 13, 2020
Parenting is cleaning dried oatmeal from the bathroom wall and not even being curious as to why.
— The Dad Briefs™ (@SladeWentworth) January 13, 2020